“Today I celebrate the 50th Spectator Jonze portrait I’ve done since I started this project back in September last year. In 9 months, I have been blessed with the contribution of so many amazing people carrying the weight of their stories, experience, battles and triumphs both in my direct circles and strangers afar. It cemented my yearning to foster a conversational platform that aimed to kick the taboo of talking about mental health and encouraged the unity of our journeys as human beings. Through the generosity of people’s participation, it also has been a therapeutic process for me - as I took from people, I also learned that it was okay to give back my own locked up burdens and secrets.
Since the beginning, I documented my own unveiling with every 10th portrait being an introspective exploration of my own mental health. Through decades of abuse and trauma this self-portrait is a reflection of the PTSD I have suffered and suppressed for so long. The Chinese characters resemble my particular symptoms that I have taken into my stride rather than to fight - fear, shame, guilt, blame and confusion (sucks I can’t fit it all into Instagram). I’m also no longer scared to say that I suffer from PTSD but am still yet to openly talk about the cause. Baby steps.
Last week, this artwork was a part of this year’s Arts & Minds campaign. It was my very first print and I was so proud to see it raise $4250 in a charity auction dedicated to mental health and wellbeing. Thank you to all the subjects that have made up the 50 portraits so far, and I can’t wait to delve further and further into this beautiful people project. It really would be nothing without the stories and sharing. xx” - Spectator Jonze
